Home > Food > Screw You Don Draper

Screw You Don Draper

There are eight miniature cans of Coke Zero in my refrigerator. Eight tiny cans. Seven ounces in each can. Eight of them.

I don’t even like Coke Zero. It’s alright. I usually drink diet root beer if I drink any soft drink at all. Coke Zero tastes like its big brother enough, but it also tastes like what got me 50 pounds overweight and in trouble with my health. Enough. Although something about cold bubbles on a hot day.

But I didn’t even want Coke Zero. How I ended up with eight cans of it in my fridge is a lesson in how you can end up need something you didn’t even know you wanted. And also: apparently I will buy it if you make it smaller and cuter. I bet it wasn’t even my brain they were trying to reach, but reach they did: eight miniature cans of diet soda in my refrigerator.

(Apropos of nothing: I woke up in the middle of the night last night straight out of a nightmare and one very clear thought issued from my brain meats: “Fractal Vampire!” Whence upon immediately fell back to sleep.)

Insert rant about “ad wizards” here-like. EXCEPT IT DIDN’T EVEN REQUIRE AN AD TO OBTAIN ME AS A CUSTOMER.

Tiny cans, man: tiny fucking cans.

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  1. October 12, 2010 at 19:28

    I remember Pepsi did the same thing a few years ago. I came across a display that said “How about a little Pepsi?”, chuckled, and walked on.

  2. October 12, 2010 at 22:14

    Ryan :

    I remember Pepsi did the same thing a few years ago. I came across a display that said “How about a little Pepsi?”, chuckled, and walked on.

    You have more self-control than me, evidently.

    UPDATE: There are now seven tiny cans of Coke Zero in my refrigerator.

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