Home > Everything Else > Internet Hoisted By Its Own Petard, Again

Internet Hoisted By Its Own Petard, Again

I tried to quit my job on the Internet by posting 33 photos of myself telling an amusing story about my asshole boss playing Farmville on some fly-by-night image hosting site but my plan was foiled when I realized that I couldn’t quit you, Internet. I just can’t quit you. And also because I don’t have a job to quit.

My favorite part of this story is not just that it was a hoax and some sort of viral scheme, or that the girl was an actress, because they always are, whether it says so on the resume or not, but that the herd comprising Internet entrepreneurs continues to be made up largely of complete douchenozzles and/or guys who drive Chrysler Crossfires.

“We didn’t do this for the media,” thechive.com co-founder John Resig told TechCrunch, who were apparently the first patsy to fall in the whole Ponzi scheme. “I’d did it almost to prove to myself that I had it in me, to make something go viral at 4:30 in the morning before the world wakes up. You get a pure thrill of watching your site go from 15,000 uniques to 440,000 uniques in a single hour, watching yourself sucker every site from a-z who didn’t do their backstory.”

Gekko then slicked back his hair, snorted a line of coke, and said “When I get a hold of the son of a bitch who leaked this, I’m gonna tear his eyeballs out and I’m gonna suck his fucking skull,” before hopping on a redeye to Hong Kong, where he swung a deal to purchase Jackie Chan. Er, Resig. Or somebody.

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