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Cesium. Also spelled “caesium.” Atomic number: 55. Liquid at 83°F, which is only slightly above room temperature, one of only five such metals to hold that distinction. Extracted mostly from pollucite, which is found mainly in Transylvania, near vampires. Primary use: atomic clocks and desktop widgets. Half-life: 30 years, give or take six million. Tastes like chicken. Considered dangerous and possibly sarcastic; do not approach without bat jammies. Delicious on wheat crackers. Believed responsible for 1979 Cincinnati Who concert stampede which claimed the lives of eleven people. Dances to electroclash and chiptunes. Abhors the word “pulchritudinous.” Always eats the last slice of pizza. Favorite color: silver. Kind of a jerk. Probably smokes crack. Cesium.

  1. August 10, 2010 at 17:26

    its very helpful and interesting too!

  1. August 11, 2010 at 05:31

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